Unlayering Domestic Violence

All,

After watching the most recent video, done by Chad W. Tayler and Tara Holcomb called “But She Knew Better” in response of recent events about Domestic Violence among the Deaf Community.

Admittedly, as a professional in educational and mental health field, Domestic Violence is just a word that I learned and its effects. I thought I knew about this topic.

In past two months, December 2012 and January 2013, I was dead wrong.

I have learned MUCH more by watching personal stories and the community’s reaction to the stories. I read, viewed and observed the community’s reaction to Reginald Redding’s arrest for Domestic Violence.

I learned more about Domestic Violence from Dawn Schriver who acted as an advocate for Marci Wolfangle.

I watched how Dawn Schriver shared her own personal story as a survivor of Domestic Violence.

I watched how Dawn Schriver, who got re-victimized with recent court judgement and how she came forward asking for help.

I observed how the community, including Ms. Schriver’s ex-husband response to this video.

I watched and read more stories about other people’s experiences with Domestic Violence. More videos were shared in Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

I learned about Violence Against Women Act was rejected by the House of Representatives.

It is like unlayering an onion, each time I peel off the layer of an onion, the closer I get to the core.

I have seen the core.

I understand now.

I want to help and share what I understood about Domestic Violence. Here’s my video. My confession. It’s long and unedited. Raw emotions and thoughts…

Thank you to each of you who shared your personal stories, imparting knowledge and experiences about Domestic Violence. You have taught me so much.

Best,
Amy Cohen Efron

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13 comments on “Unlayering Domestic Violence

Amy…..

From a survivor of Domestic Violence and rape, thank you so much for your vlog

with Hugs

~V

survivor of molestation. thank you.

No, thank you for making this excellent vlog.

R-

Beautiful.

Like you, I was ignorant. It was from my friends I learned a lot about DV…and learned how I could be of help for them… be there, learned what enabling meant so that I could stop enabling, etc…

Beautiful and well said. Thank you

Kudos Amy for a job well done! You express yourself in a way that make it easy for everyone to understand!

Thank you! By sharing and spreading the word/stories/experience, we can help reduce if not eliminate Domestic Violence.
You’ve done good!
XO,
Steve

I am glad your eyes are opened, but there is more. Look at the ripple effect. You cast a stone into the lake, you can see the ripples go out from the impact of the stone on the surface of the lake….plus the hidden vortex action of the stone sinking to the bottom of the lake beneath the surface of the lake. The effects of domestic violence does not end with the empowerment of the victim. Look at the children inside the family, those children witnessed domestic violence. Some grow up to be abusers, some grow up to be victims, some turn to drug, alcohol and sex addictions. Their families, friends, society in general have to pick up the pieces of their mistakes. How do we make the shores of the vast lake smaller to lessen the ripples? How do we make the bottom of the lake closer to the surface to lessen the suction of the vortex? How do we make the stone labelled domestic violence lighter to reduce its impact? Maybe even…how do we make that stone stay on the river banks, never to be cast?

I agree with your comments Amy, around how DV has a ripple effect inside families. How do we bring the bottom of the mucky dark lake up to the surface? One way is to listen to the actions of children, their primary way of communicating. Increase mental health awareness for youth as well as their teachers.
When a young person is “acting out”, they are not thinking to themselves, “….I feel angry and confused about something I’m picking up from my family, but I don’t even know what it is. I think I’ll hit or drink or act like I don’t care.” They just act out feelings that don’t make sense. We can help them make sense of experiences by listening to them, what the story is underneath the misbehaviour. Get them a therapist knowledgeable about working with children and families.
Thanks Amy for your heart felt comments.

Ur description of how complex DV is portrayed very eloquently. True, DV is not ” simplistic in its causes/ solutions / nor is it preventive by one form of advocacy. Education always opens a door somewhere, yet mixing our varied cultural norms and u will find that door is held against others. There is no differentiation of cases whom anyone would represent, its seen but not supported. I never thought I’d be a statistic .Im an educated lady, know my iniate rights-but I,too, live it. . Reality is not picky. Respect is power. Im an American! Respect lol -Being deaf is hard enough.Trying to survive and exist – a true challenge everyday .

Empowerment !! For all feel good about themselves 😉

Amy,
My Gosh, your vlog worth my time.. Had my eyes welled up. I grew up and always thought DV was okay till I met my husband. He was surprised when I landed my hand on him for the first time many years ago. He was pissed and had talk out of me. He realized that I came from DV Parents and abuse. I learned so much from him how to love. Realized DV is all very wrong! I’m very happy that my husband taught me. I mean, to his today, I don’t know where I ll be today if it wasn’t for my husband. I love my husband so much.
Thank you, Amy

Amy, the video you made was very well put. DV happens every seconds in this universe. I am hearing impaired myself and have a stellar career. I finally got divorced after 15 yrs of marriage from my ex who was DV preperator.He is a sick man at the end that leads me thinking that he has a non-treated Bi-polar. I am survivor of DV that it was mental, psychological, physically, money power, verbally and sexually abuse by my ex. At the end I had to go to physical therapy for 2 years for the injuries he caused me. He is still a pathogical liar that cost me so much money to hire a legal to protect me & my family. It’s still on-going since 2008. Today I feel happier and stronger.

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