Amy Cohen Efron discusses about ‘name-dropping’ among Deaf people in social situations.
Amy wondered if ‘name-dropping’ is the same with the hearing people? Find out what Amy learned…
[div hVlog style=”text-align: center”] [vPIP class=”hVlogTarget” type=”video/quicktime” onclick=”vPIPPlay(this, ‘name=qt’, ”, ”); return false;”]
[vPIP type=”video/quicktime” onclick=”vPIPPlay(this, ‘name=qt’, ”, ”); return false;”]Play Quicktime version 2:05 minutes long
[/div]
For some people who cannot view my videoclip… please click below
[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/tpC5kA-n4Ww" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]
According to the book written by Anna Mindess, “Reading Between the Signs: Intercultural Communication for Sign Language Interpeters†Published in 1999 by Intercultural Press.
Mindess wrote: “In Deaf Culture, name-dropping serves the important function of validating one’s place in the community. One way to accomplish this is to find the appropriate moment to explain a little about your “background†and then mention the names of some well-known Deaf people with whom you have had connections.”
Mindess also added: “While in mainstream American culture name-dropping is seen as showing off, for hearing people involved in the Deaf community, it shows that you can be trusted.”
Name-dropping was defined in Wikipedia:
Name dropping can also be used to identify people with a common bond. By indicating the names of people one knows, one makes known his or her social circle, providing an opportunity for others with similar connections to relate.
Also in the culture – it can be negative. Name dropping is used to position oneself within a social hierarchy. It is often used to create a sense of superiority by raising one’s status. By implying (or directly asserting) a connection to people of high status, the name-dropper hopes to raise his or her own social status to a level closer to that of those whose names he or she has dropped, and thus elevate himself or herself above present company.
I think it is very interesting, and it made me wonder what might happen to young Deaf children and adults who are raised in the mainstream setting, where they usually follow the majority of peers who don’t ‘name-drop’.
What do you think?
29 comments on “Name-Dropping”
Oscar the Observer
Fascinating!
If I meet a deaf person who attended the same schools I attended, I just may name drop teachers’ names and few deaf students if the deaf person I name drop toward is near to my age. Otherwise, unfortunately, I doubt that mainstreamed deaf like me would have that privilege as you deaf people who grew up in stat schools for deaf! I envy you people ever since I joined DeafRead because I felt that I missed out on A LOT!
*cry*
Oh well, that is life :). Cool topic anyway!
C
Interesting that Wikipedia defines it that way. I imagine that it does happen in “high society” or in political arena. However, where I work in a hearing surrounding, it happens often similar to deaf culture when someone moves to our division from another division. “Do you know, so and so, from the division you came from?”
Name dropping is very common in small towns (similar to Deaf culture)than big cities.
I think this name dropping is probably more prevalent in Deaf culture in that way than hearing. We don’t always use it to show our status. Or do we sometimes do???? I think maybe we do subconciously.
What about “high” deaf and “low” deaf as Anne Marie explained….does it happen similar to hearing culture? Do we find out who that person knows and when it turns out he/she does not know people from similar clique, does it make some cooly, quietly, “reject” that person because of that?
LaRonda
Hi Amy.
Hmmmm…. Name dropping might be cultural and it might be related to a need to feel significant, important or belong.
I recently received an e-mail from a deaf man who felt it was important to tell me he knew another famous deaf person in my area and was friends with her. It was as if by telling me he knew this famous person, it made him equally important or famous by association.
While I do think name dropping has a place in deaf culture, it also has a place in boosting egos. 😉
When I was in my 20’s, I was guilty of this myself. I remember name dropping after returning from Gallaudet, and after graduating from CSUN. Naming who I knew, whether they were my peers or my teacher, often helped me get my foot in the door of the deaf world. I became more accepted if I mentioned I went to Gallaudet or CSUN, or had this teacher or knew that deaf person. I used name dropping to get jobs as well. Employers liked it when I named where I had been and who I knew, associated or worked with in the deaf field.
While this helped me step up, it has a sticky kind of feel to it. Now that I am older and more comfortable in my own skin, name dropping is not as important. But I still do it. Now, it’s not so much about my ego or fitting in. Now it’s to find out how small the deaf world really is. Someone always knows someone else in your town. Kind of cool.
~ LaRonda
gnarlydorkette
I think name-dropping is still being “used to position oneself within a social hierarchy” regardless Deaf or hearing.
Because will you, a Deaf person, be willing to befriend with a Deaf person who doesn’t know anybody? No. You decided that the Deaf person is not worthwhile to know if s/he doesn’t know the people you know.
Sad, but true. It is a double-edged sword– because you make friends or not ON THE SPOT.
And being mainstreamed got nothing to do with it.
Ken Rose
Interesting!
You know, Elton John and I were having this very conversation a couple of years ago and he said he was talking with Madonna and Princess Di about this subject. They agreed that few Hearing people Name Drop except George Michael, who would go on and on about how Hillary Clinton kept mentioning how Nelson Mandela kept mentioning all the famous people he met.
I thought it was a fluke until Lindsey Lohan mentioned that Paris Hilton kept rambling on about how many people like Jimmy Kimmell and Carson Daly keep talking about the times they met her.
T
Speaking of namedropping, I have an interesting story to share.
Some 20 years ago I first visited a deaf club in another state, and I told the bartender I was from X state (I don’t want to identify which of the 50 states), whereupon the bartender asked me who I knew in X’s deaf community. I sensed that he didn’t accept me.
Although I was from X and had a deaf sister, I hadn’t really become part of the deaf community or learned ASL until I entered a deaf college program. First, I mentioned my sister’s name, but the bartender didn’t recognize her name.
Stumped for a name of a deafie from my home state whom the bartender might recognize, but not having too many names of deafies from X at my immediate disposal off the top of my head, I then namedropped the name of an X deafie who I knew was from a deaf family and who had also graduated from XSD. I hoped that simply on these two factors the bartender would hopefully know who this guy was and then this “namedropping” would be my “ticket” to personal acceptance by this bartender.
My sister had graduated with this guy at X’s state school for the deaf (“XSD”) and had constantly mentioned his name (my sister and I are both deaf, but she graduated from XSD while I attended both oral and hearing schools), and she had once even pointed out to me his photo in her XSD yearbook. But I didn’t know this guy from XSD at all, just simply mentioned his name to the bartender.
Instantly I got the sense that the bartender accepted me, and we were finally able to talk about other things. I can’t recall, but I think the bartender possibly used to live in X, don’t know how else he could have known who this guy from XSD was.
But I wondered why I couldn’t have just been accepted simply as a deafie from X. I was clearly deaf, the very fact we were talking in a deaf club and we were both using ASL meant I was part of the deaf community too just like him, and there was no reason to doubt the veracity of my story that X was my home state, yet all of that wasn’t enough for this bartender. Only until he knew how or where I fit or could be fitted into his knowledge of X’s deaf social networks was he apparently able to accept me.
But, did I lie to the bartender? Did I necessarily imply that I personally knew this guy? The bartender had only explicitly challenged me to mention a name or two from X’s deaf community whose name he might recognize.
Nearly 20 years later I finally ran into this guy from XSD at a Deaf Celebration Day event in X, and I immediately thought, that’s the guy who I namedropped so many years ago. Today this guy and I know each other as acquaintances and we run into each other on occasion.
It also turned out that this guy’s family is 8 generations deaf, with himself 7 generation deaf, so if my goal had had been to get past the “gatekeeping” activity by the bartender as quickly as possible, I had lucked out. It would have been very difficult given my then pretty sparse knowledge of X’s deaf community networks to have chosen a more deafie-networked guy from my home state to namedrop. This almost sounds like a hypothetical textbook math problem: who would have been the one person in X whose name I could namedrop who was statistically guaranteed to get me past this “gate” as quickly as possible?
It also turned out that though I didn’t know this guy himself until recently, it turns out that apparently his mother and his sister and I had crossed paths before, and his sister pinpointed the date she herself had first seen me: some 30 years earlier. To my surprise, they all definitely knew about me and had apparently never forgotten me. His mother was in front of me in a line at some establishment somewhere, and when she turned around and saw me, she immediately used my name and spoke to me in ASL. I said to her, Do I know you? Have we met before?
So the irony to me is that it turns out that I did have a previous connection to the guy’s family even if not to the guy himself, a connection unknown to me at the time of my namedropping conversation with the bartender. 🙂
T
I have a comment on the following part of your blog entry:
“it made me wonder what might happen to young Deaf children and adults who are raised in the mainstream setting, where they usually follow the majority of peers who don’t ‘name-drop’.”
In hearing schools, if you’re the only deaf person there: your choice of the word “follow” is not the correct word to use in “[…] in the mainstream setting, where they usually follow the majority of peers who don’t ‘name-drop’.” Here’s why:
(1) rather than follow hearing peers’ patterns of communication, unless you’re provided access to it somehow such as by an ASL interpreter, it’s more likely the case that you have no idea how others around you actually talk, so in that way they’re less likely to influence your commummication.
(2) the way hearing classmates talk to you is likely to be unavoidably or unconsciously different on any number of levels (greater enunciation, dropping of idiomatic and foreign words, different choice of words, etc.).
Because I didn’t overhear my peers, I was not influenced much by how they talked to each other. I was influenced by how my hearing classmates talked to me. But I have no way of knowling how the latter patterns of speech compared with how they normally spoke with each other.
If that were the only exposure to language I had, I would not have namedropped, but not for the reason that you give: not because my hearing peers didn’t namedrop, but because I wasn’t exposed to it from not being able to visibly see how my hearing peers actually talked.
But, my parents are hearing, they made every effort to include me in their conversation and to speak English in the way they were used to, and I know that they namedropped often for status reasons. I assumed that my hearing classmates likely spoke as my heaing parents did, so I spoke to them the same way as I interacted with my parents and hearing relatives.
I also am a voracious reader and saw how namedropping took place in the various (read: hearing) media, and took cues from that in my conversations with hearing peers, including patterns of namedropping if any as it appeared in the hearing media.
Patty
I try to avoid name-dropping when meeting new friends as much as I can, because I sometimes find myself in a sticky spot when I find out that they don’t like the person that I’m name-dropping! Oops!
Mishkazena
With the Deaf Community, I see the purpose of name-dropping two separate issues.
One is that the deaf people are separated by one or two degree, unlike hearing who has six degrees of separation. Often we find the person knows our friends and instantly by the shared common bond, we feel rapport. This is good for building a new social relationship with a virtual Deaf stranger, who is no longer a stranger. So the name dropping is a social tool, something hearing people don’t use because their hearing society is so vast and many times the hearing peer is a complete stranger with no common bond.
Yet name dropping is also used to impress Deaf people and clarify our position in the Deaf social heritage. That can be a turn off because the purpose is to make the other person feel lower.
So when we see name dropping, we need to examine the real motivations: social tool or a status quo. From my personal observations, most of the name droppings is for establishing foundations for new relationships, not status quo 🙂
A Deaf Pundit
Interesting topic. For me, it’s definitely to show where I am in the social hierarchy. Where I live, I’m not as visible as I am on the blogs, so people go, ‘Who are you?’
So the usual response is, ‘I’m x’s daughter’, or someone else will say, ‘That’s x’s daughter’, and people immediately go ‘Oh!’ and we have a great chat afterwards. 😛
Deaf258
vee. 258.
Thanks for bringing up such an interesting topic, Amy!
Come to think of it, is name-dropping another form of favoritism even if it is used for, as Mishkazena puts it, “establishing foundations”??
I wonder about name-dropping when talking with a well-known or famous Deaf person. Do they use it for making friends, are they just putting down others for not being popular enough, or they are just being genuine without the need to name-drop??
Cy
It is just a tool to establish yourself in a deaf community or a circle of friends or a social function or a political function. The same is true in any small towns if anyone ever lived in these. If you’ve watched movies with small town setting, you will observe similar social tool happening in these movies as well.
I think it is a “survival tool” for a small community and deaf is a small community. Without name dropping, a deaf person disappears into the vast mainstream society. There needs to be some kind of common bond thus a survival tool.
Lantana
In the deaf world, I think there is more than one brand of name dropping.
The one I dislike is deafies trying to use the names of the better known deaf people in the world to try and impress his/her audience. Ugh.
I would rather meet a “new” deaf person as a clean slate — and decide for myself about them. Who they actually KNOW and associate with regularly does not please me.
Lantana
deafk
Name dropping has been there all my life!! I always check the person whether he or she knows those people i have known… It would help me to figure out this person’s social life is like…It would be a helpful tool to know this person better. I was asked, too, whether I know some people… Sometimes it brings a better rapport than it would have if no name droppings.
Funny thing, whenever I ask the hearing people, they seem to be awkward with name droppings… So different! Usually when hearing people uses name droppings, it would be for career purposes, public promotions, and its likes…
deafk
kal
rumors spread so fast in deaf community because of name dropping.
michele
Hi,
Amy, can I ask you this question, what prompted you to bring the “name dropping” issue up? I’m curious, smiles!
I think name dropping is just part of human nature, trying to impress people and to make some kind of connection here and there.
Judge
It is not only deaf community doing this. It also applies to Jewish community all over the country.
Based on my reading on two local jewish communities’ listserv, they always ask each other to find out who other people at different cities are, finding the kosher restaurants, Rabbis, any connections, etc.
Not only listserv, my kids drove down to Richmond Va area and found people who knew friends from my synagogue. Ate dinner over there.
Like Deaf, Jewish people are minority — only 11 to 12 million people around the world (Total population worldwide is about 3-5 billion).
Mark M
Name dropping are very common in the military world. The convo would go something like:
“You were on the USS Kennedy? me too! Which operation? wow me too! So your skipper was X.O.(name drop)? Hey do you know my buddy (name drop)?”
“I knew Commander (name drop) ten years ago” “Oh you mean admiral (name drop)?” “Wow he has not retired yet?” “where is he stationed at now?”
🙂
Karen
I consider name dropping a great form of social networking, if it is done for the purpose of expanding your network–not to impress others.
IamMine
Wow…I’m going to use your name to make friends, Amy!
😀 😉
Kidding aside, it does happen in different groups too so I don’t think it’s just the deaf culture. Though it is tighter in the deaf community because of how small it is, compared to hearing people in general.
Better cover your eyes now….
This also applies to Pearl Jam community – a lot like the deaf community – where they get acquired based on the shows they’ve gone – which state, where, how many shows, favorite albums and etc. I’ve known some who get married to each other! lol.
I warned you to cover your eyes…. 😛
SnoopyFreak02
Amy,
Yes, you are right! I recognized that many deaf people tend to do that name dropping. I learned myself when I was in another states or in another country, one of my friends told me that someone told to my friend about my name… my friend puzzled and how did he or she find out about me. There were lots rumor about me! Yes, it hurts me lots because possible they were trying telling negative or positive about any deaf person.
We all know that the deaf community is very small than hearing people in general which are too large in the community!
In other way, it is true, nice to have professional network by name dropping. However, you must in positive ways instead of negative ways about the person of your friends or know about this person. We have to be careful for what we say words.
codadiva
Hi Amy,
It’s an interesting topic. Name-dropping I believe is all over, even CODA community. I agree with some of the comments that there are name-droppers to try to look better by association, and name-droppers that just wonder do you know my friends.
In college, I went to Michigan State Univ for a year, people would ask me if I knew other students there… the school had 10,000 students, I didn’t know them.
My small town of 35,000 also name drops, it’s worse than the Deaf and Coda community! Really!
IamMine
*nods in agreement with codadiva*
I, too, live in a small town!!! I know exactly what you are talking about! 😉
And many of those news don’t even have to make it to the weekly newspaper – it’s old news already.
Maybe that’s why they aren’t making much money with the local newspaper??!! LOL!!!
Laura
What an interesting topic!
Have you ever thought about another thing that most deaf people in the deaf community also tend to ask which high school the person graduated whenever she/he meets a new face ?!
The Ear of My Heart » Blog Archive » When Deaf V/Bloggers Meet ~
[…] How did I do for name dropping, […]
Vikki
After reading LaRonda’s blog, I jumped over here to see about name dropping. Great v/blogg. I find it very true. I am wondering, can I drop your name from the good old days at WSD? 🙂 You were such a great mentor to me. (smile)
Cheers~
Vikki
Micah
hello amy!!
very one intersting.. but most of time i go any deaf events alway see alot of name dropping but sadly when they found something about this person and don’t want to dicuss more further after you name the person and don’t want to make a friends cuz this person can be bad news or whatever its affect other person which they can get wrong idea.. i think it’s really stupid of them to avoid this if they don’t know what’s going on. Name dropping can be awesome to make some new friends but NOT always! so watch out sometimes.
nomad
i am hearing, an interpreter, and when i meet new deaf from other places and tell them where i live, they usually ask me if i know so-and-so deaf in my home town. i always feel out-of-the-loop when i don’t know them, i feel my “hearingness” in the deaf world. 🙂
sometimes i will drop a deaf name or two depending on the situation, like if they work in the same field, just so whichever deaf person i’m talking with doesn’t think i’m completely out of it (read: lousy interpreter). smile.
also i saw the one comment here about the use of names in the jewish community and that’s what i was going to add, too. we call it “playing jewish geography.” i think it is very similar to the way name-dropping functions in the deaf community, which is, in part, to bond with other members of the minority community you’re a part of. jews are about 2% of the american population (and i, for one, don’t identify with the larger, “hearing” majority because of my own minority status) and because of the us’s history of oppression of jews, quotas and discrimination/anti-semitism, etc., we often play that game maybe so we can feel like we are a larger and stronger community than we are and to affirm that we are all family and that we’re still alive and thriving.
i think beyond all this, for anyone, just knowing somebody in common can be really COOL. 🙂
i wonder if it’s really any different from the deaf community or any minority?
Rita
yeah i know what ya mean… i am guilty of name dropping sometimes, i would ask ppl “do u know this person” such…